Well, I have never enjoyed winter like I have this year. I am finding the spare quiet of this season so compelling. This is VERY different from my usual response to the cold. I’ve never been one to find any romance there. But this year, the inky darkness that we plunge into every November felt not only more cosy – but also like a desired refuge. And the cold – my nemesis! – has not bitten me as hard. Even though it’s been more biting this February in London than I have ever known it to be in my 24 year London tenure. Ok, ok, so I’m sure spending almost all of January in India helped…. but still…. I didn’t dread my return. And things were WAY exciting in India (TEMPLES! SACRED SITES! I mean, my trip to India was full of everything I always long for. These places comprise an addictive substance for me!). And here in London: not so exciting. Yet: my contentment reigns. Have I really finally outgrown my overweening (sometimes drama-producing, I may as well admit it) sense of adventure?
I find my contentment at this point in my life somewhat confusing. I have had a lifetime of striving, and many of my experiences of being at my ease have arisen in the wake of some trouble avoided, or some triumph achieved.
Not much in the way of personal achievement is calling me right now. No major fires need putting out. And I find myself enjoying a contentment that bubbles up with subtle bliss, with no particular reason at all. Amidst the disorientation of this atypical directionlessness, I am discovering the joy of waiting around. It’s my standard fare of not-knowing, writ larger, and with a heavy dose of NO NEED TO KNOW. Well, this is different for anything I have experienced before. I find myself continually checking – my abused child hyper-vigilance rearing up – ‘is this really okay? Is it really okay for me to LET GO like this?’
Meanwhile, I am upholding my daily practices, regular teaching schedule, and just keeping on in general. Come and see me, I’d love to share practices with you. I’ve got a whole bunch of fun stuff coming up. Like a special event to celebrate International Women’s Day, YBR this Saturday for the Spine, Shakti Shop, and MENORCA (YAAAAS!!!). Click on the pictures below.
Are you experiencing anything new or unusual this year? Any new revelations or new facets of yourself coming to light? Please share. I love to hear from you.